Julia's 2003 Quad Series Diary...
Day 1-21 (Ashes Diary also online now...)
DAY 1 - 20th January 2003
Tour off to the usual start with me ringing my mother to send me everything I've forgotten. Fortunately I wasn't the only one to forget things as Steve had forgotten to pack his passport, Mel Jones had forgotten to bring the keys to her locked suitcase and Karen Rolton had packed a mini skirt instead of the team skirt. Oops no sorry that was the team skirt.
First afternoon we were divided into 1. finalists and 2. players who weren't good enough to make the finals. Finalists went off for a recovery swim and players who weren't good enough to make the final went off for some much needed batting practice so that one day we would be good enough to be in the finalist group. Whilst at training Rolly was filmed receiving her International Women's Cricketer of the Year Award. One of Rolts' better acceptance speeches to date. Keep an ear out for it if it makes the Allan Border Medal Dinner. Training concluded with me top edging a sweep shot into my face.
Finalists training not without its dramas with Bails thinking the manual van an automatic and attempting to drive the entire way to the pool without using her clutch once. Finishes already bad trip by backing into a tree.
Three new players have joined us for the upcoming series. Melissa Bulow from Queensland, Kris Britt from South Australia and Alex Blackwell from New South Wales. To make it easier on selection this year it was decided that only people with their surname beginning with a B would be the new inclusions. To give you quick player profile on the new girls.
Name: Alex Blackwell Age: 19 Born: Wagga Wagga
Likes: To be nice, helping others, speaking softly, listening to Mel's and my travel stories (possibly forced on her but too nice to say anything), single beds.
Dislikes: Not being nice,
Interesting facts:
Was born in Wagga Wagga due to Griffith being unable to cater for the birth of twins. Bli Bli and Kurri Kurri were also other possibilities but distance was a problem.
Posed as her twin sister on numerous occasions in the past year in order to get free food from Sydney University where her sister was studying.
Has no idea who Gabriela Sabatini, Pam Shriver or Marvin Gaye are. Also thinks that the Love Boat is the latest cruise ship from P&O.
Career Highlights: Getting Melanie Jones out for her 1st National League Wicket.
===============================================
Name: Kris Britt Age: 19 Born: Canberra
Likes: Not speaking, piercings, Canberra
Dislikes: decision making, skipping, reading (anything - likes the pictures though)
Interesting facts:
Moved house last weekend to have it burnt down this weekend.
Worked for two year's at Sportsman's Warehouse only to be sacked after being selected in the Commonwealth Bank Southern Stars keeping with the policy that if you are any good at sport we don't want you to work for us.
Appears to be a mute
Career Highlights: Making the Australian team, being able to entertain herself in Canberra for the past 19 years.
===============================================
Name: Melissa Bulow Age: 22 Born: Ipswich
Likes: ham steak, old ladies from Qld, explaining cricket to American tourists, her mobile phone, bad cover songs, bruises.
Dislikes: thigh pads, skirts, being reserve wicketkeeper,
Interesting facts:
Fill-in voice over for Marj Simpson
Easily confused about where the zip should be worn in team skirt. Hoping problem doesn't exist with jeans, pants and any other items of clothing that contain zips.
Career Highlights:
Mealtime at Lincoln University, getting through an innings without being hit on the thigh once.
DAY 2 - 21st January 2003
Tuesday we all head to Drummoyne oval for training session. Lots of running, hitting and throwing followed by a psychology sessions in which we are all told that we are all either owls, peacocks, eagles or doves. We are trying to get an additional bear group added for Rolts, Gozzy and Steve as none of the bird groups seem to suit any of these three. Afternoon net session with net bowlers brought in to rest our bowlers who ended up bowling for the 2 hours anyway.
Tuesday evening spent at Sydney University with Quentin Bryce putting on a do for us to wish us good luck. Quentin did her best to confuse everyone by saying that England were playing NSW in a Test later in the month which in actual fact was us. I was however lucky enough to be placed opposite Lorna Thomas, an ex-NSW player and ex-manager of the Australian team (63 was her best tour).
Auntie Lorna, as she is affectionately known as to NSW players, kept me amused most of the evening with stories of people I had never heard but probably should have. One of my favourite stories however was from the infamous '63 tour when Lorna had instigated a 24 item list of things not to do when on tour. When questioned what these items were Lorna could only recall Item 12 which was "Always act in a lady-like manner". (Our more updated item list seems to finish at 11) This then led into story after story. At one particular function, it was noticed, by the ever diligent Lorna, that one group of girls were obviously enjoying themselves a bit too much by being a little bit raucous. Lorna casually passed them by and whispered just audibly enough for only the girls to hear "Item 12". All of them instantly were quiet and proceeded to act like ladies. Not much different really to the control Claire has over has nowadays.
Lorna did however slip up during the evening by mistaking me for Fitzy and some other new up and coming fast bowler from Victoria.
On our trip home from the dinner I was questioning people on Lorna's surname. "Thomas" was yelled out from the front of the bus. Mel Jones then yells out "Is that spelt with or without a P?"
DAY 3 - 22nd January 2003
Wednesday a centre wicket practice was organised for a couple of hours. Everyone got a bit of a run around which was good to loosen everyone up. Steve wanted everyone to try and run in all their new equipment and get used to it. Rolly took advantage of this time by trying out her latest Adidas sponsored sunglasses. To prove just how effective they can be Rolly proceeded to drop the biggest dolly of a catch to mid-off you have ever seen. But gee her sunglasses looked good though. Possibly she should look into getting them made into prescription glasses.
Claire Connolly, our answer to Glenn Ridge, has prepared the latest quiz for us so that not only are we physically prepared for this tour but mentally. Unfortunately it appears Claire has taken most of the questions from "That's Academic" and has decided that multiple choice makes it too easy. At least with multiple choice you have a little bit of a chance of guessing one correct. Rolts had a blank page until the 6th question, (which she got wrong).
Allowances handed out today with Emma and Gozzy immediately going and spending it on what it was intended for - new shoes (in fact 2 pairs for Gozzy).
Quiet night with Lisa Ross, Mel and myself heading out unknowingly to the most expensive Italian restaurant in Sydney. Unfortunately we had cracked open the bottle of wine before we had a chance to even peruse the menu. The fact that we found ourselves trying to turn over the 2 page menu, which was glued down, to find something we could afford (there were already tear marks in the menu from the last people trying to turn over the last page as well) was not a good sign. In the end we came up with some ridiculous story that we were having a progressive dinner and we were here only for the entrée.
DAY 4 - 23rd January 2003
Early rise in order to get to the airport by 7.30am for our flight to Christchurch. Gozzy continues to work her way through her allowance by spending an additional $200 on perfume, earphones etc etc at duty free.
Wander around the airport trying to amuse ourselves for 2 hours. Claire takes me and Melanie to the newsagency to show us her latest project - cookbooks (Health for Life $7.95 at all leading newsagencies). After flicking through the cookbooks we notice the latest Black & White magazine out with all the new sports stars photographs in it. After commenting on how tastefully Black & White normally do their portraits, Mel and I found ourselves a bit shocked at the latest edition. I know I certainly won't be able to watch Women's surfing or the ironwoman again in the same light. As for Shane Watson, oh my god and then there was that cyclist.
Arrive in Christchurch on time to be greeted by Bridget our liaison officer from last year. On seeing Mel she yells our "You're here" and Mel replies with "yes, we are" slightly confused as Mel had had quite a reasonable season with the bat and didn't think that Bridget should be so shocked to see her here. "No no you're here" as she starts pointing to Mel's now short hair. It's going to take a while to get used to that accent again. Hopefully we are used to it for the trip home so we can find the Chicken Counter.
On arriving at Lincoln, Mel Jones and I head off to the bar to catch the first final from Sydney. Quite a good gathering of people in the bar who are all keen for a chat. One lady comes up and starts chatting. I notice she is drinking Baileys and she says "Yis, it's a sluppery nupple". After explaining that her Baileys has Sambucca in it I decipher her statement to meaning she has the shooter "Slippery Nipple". Not long after, Bridget turns up to tell us that she's booked us into the local winery on Monday evening for dinner at the Wineshit. Odd name for a winery. Until we discover it was actually the Wine Shed.
Most of us have started acclimatising by wearing pretty much everything we own in order to stave off the cold. Betty Ross is already looking like a local by donning socks and sandals.
Dinner tonight was at the University Dining Hall. Ham steaks, some sort of quiche thing, peas and potatoes and lettuce were on the menu tonight. Fortunately for England this was their normal diet (less the pint). Australia however weren't quite as happy.
On entering for any meal you have to present a card to identify yourself as a member of one of the teams participating in the "World Series" of Women's Cricket. We've all just walked through and yelled out as we went through we were from the Australian team. The lady on the door however was very excited when she saw Lisa Sthalaker come in with us. The fact that Lisa was in full Australian kit, as were the rest of us, didn't stop her from insisting Lisa was from the Indian team and was glad that they had all finally made it after missing a few flights to Christchurch.
DAY 5 - 24th January 2003 Australia vs New Zealand A
After tossing and turning most of the night due to lack of food at dinner, most people were up and ready for breakfast relatively early this morning. Due to us actually staying at the ground most people were ready to leave at the scheduled time for our Practice Game vs New Zealand A today. A very slow game on a slow and low pitch with the only highlights being one of the umpires belching ridiculously loudly, which was followed by one of similar volume from one of the Kiwi players. (Suggestion to New Zealand Management team to bring in Item 12 for players in future).
Lisa Ross up to her usual form by commenting on a dog that may have hurt itself as "it seems to be limping". The fact that the dog only had three legs obviously hadn't factored into Rossy's reasoning. None of us required treatment this evening.
Campaign has started for bloke (mark) who does lunches for games to come and do dinners as well. Rumour has been circulating that he is also very good at muffins.
Off to the local pool for a warm-down swim which turned out to be a surfing contest due to the presence of a wave-pool. Not quite the recovery swim that Bails was wanting but we couldn't hear her over the sound of the waves anyway.
Discover Alex has never heard of Aretha Franklin. Mel Jones and I have decided to take Alex under our wing and develop her knowledge of music and any other trivial rubbish we know. Fortunately its only a short tour. Have offered to provide information in return for any medical treatment that may be required in the future when Alex finishes her medical degree.
Dinner better than expected when we raid the "Ethnic Tempters" counter at dinner. Lentils, fish curry and rice followed by passionfruit cheesecake.
DAY 6 - Saturday 25th January 2003
Woke up this morning with a head cold which has been threatening to break for quite a while now. Obviously the Antarctic conditions here aren't really too conducive to good health. Apparently on one of Bails' runs she had to stop because she had hit snow in the mountains. (true story - except the bit about Bails getting to the mountains - sure she wasn't far off though)
In the dining hall, there are displayed several flags of the world including Nepal, Micronesia and Zimbabwe. We are all sitting there trying to match up countries with flags with Claire points to this one flag (a blue one, with the union Jack and red stars) and says "Which country is that flag from?". Most of the table look at Claire in astonishment and all say New Zealand.
Training in the afternoon with the highlight being Steve Jenkin falling over the group of balls near his feet. From the length of the scream as he was falling, you'd swear he'd just fallen off a building. He then gets up and says "Ooops I fell" just in case we hadn't noticed.
England lost to New Zealand A in their warm up game today which no doubt will cause our ex-coach John Harmer (now English coach) much angst. Will be interesting to see how they come back from that.
Head to local pool to do a recovery swim as the pool at the university is an outdoor pool and has frozen over. At the pool we were privileged to witness an athlete who was obviously a dan something or brown belt something. He displayed his skills firstly in the pool with some karate chops here and there attempting to scare small children as they swam by, he then moved to the pool deck where he completed at least 1 set of 10 situps (obviously worn out from the exhaustive pool workout), headed to the pool support bar where he did 6 maybe 7 push-ups and then to the steam room for some r & r. But no - there was no time for relaxation with this athlete. We were lucky enough to catch glimpses of him as people walked in and out of the steam room as the steam would part and there he would be chopping and hi-yaing away. Reminiscent of one of the scenes from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon really. He finished his routine with a shower where he managed (and don't try this at home kids) to kick on the tap. Impressive I know. The fact that he was also the size of Mark Taylor made it even more impressive as he didn't hurt himself once.
Caught the kiwis catching their team bus to dinner tonight. They are staying about 40 paces further away from us. Obviously trying to conserve their energy for tomorrow.
And finally a bit of lat e news, Claire Connelly, on her way back from Christchurch the other day was trying to remember her way in to Christchurch so she could retrace her steps back to Lincoln. She decided she'd pick out a few landmarks. Her first landmark she chose was a paddock of sheep where she had to turn. Needless to say we haven't seen Claire for a while.
DAY 7 - Sunday 26th January 2003 Australia vs New Zealand
A good day today with us beating New Zealand and picking up the bonus point as well. A few incidents of note today. Firstly when we were having our National Anthem played for Australia Day the ground announcer says over the pa system that on the 7th February, New Zealand will also be celebrating their National Day as well. Fitz comes out with "Do New Zealand have an Australia Day as well!!". Another incident was a mix-up when the Kiwi No.11 had to have a runner. However the mix-up wasn't with the batting team, it was with our team. Smitty has thrown down the stumps at the bowlers end and her and Emma started high-fiving each other and giggling and hugging only to realise that the runner was well home and the other batsman was standing next to the umpire ready for the next ball.
A few surprises in the kiwi team with Kathryn Ramel retiring, Anna Corbin out with a broken thumb and Rachel Pullar pulling (no pun intended there) out for personal reasons. In the lunch break of the game, New Zealand Cricket put on a "Can you Catch" competition which sounded very much like "Kenya Catch". We had Melanie Jones convinced for quite a while they were actually trying to raise money for the Kenyan women's team. There was one contestant in the "Can you Catch" competition. Rachel Pullar made herself available for selection for the competition to try and win $150, to go towards the "Find Rachel Pullar a new Province to play for" Fund. Not only did she miss the catch, she got no where near it. Rachel's answer to the "Can You Catch" competition was a resounding No.
Lisa Sthalaker got her maiden 50 today which was a really good solid innings. Rolly got her 426th (or something like that). We also had a new player Michelle Gozmo playing for us today. (Evil cousin of Gizmo the Mogwai - note: do not feed Michelle after midnight, keep away from bright lights and away from water for fear of multiplication).
Mel Bulow in her first game off for Australia fails miserably when bringing out the drinks in between wickets as they are all sealed and impossible to open in the short amount of time available. Fortunately another wicket falls not long after and Mel is able to redeem herself by having them all ready to go. No one needs a drink by now however.
Recovery swim at the indoor pool where no one wants to leave as it is so warm (no sign of Bruce Lee - obviously day off from training). On our way back Fitz ask "Are there one or two games tomorrow?" Four team tournament Fitz.
Bridget our Liaison officer, who also has worked at New Zealand Cricket for the past few years as Personal Assistant to the CEO (I could be making that bit up) was wearing our Australian kit and the President of New Zealand Cricket comes up to her and says "Good win today". She replies in her best south island accent "yeeeees".
A BBQ was held this evening between New Zealand and Australia to celebrate Australia Day and just as an after game function. No one was particularly keen to go as it was so cold, but then we heard New Zealand weren't coming and everyone had a great time. Especially Betty Ross who took a particular shining to the chef and his love of automobiles. When it was mentioned that Betty was doing a bit of "gary" she had no idea what was going. "who's he? "Gary Groundwork Bet." "Yeah but who is he?" Mention of cousins Harry Highpants and Larry Low-pants didn't seem to answer the question and we left Bet pondering it for the rest of the evening.
Tim Anderson from the ICC popped in to the BBQ to have a few free beers and leave. Didn't realise it was Australia Day or that we were in fact playing. Happened to be lost in Lincoln and was trying to find his way back to one of his mates houses. Nice to see him though.DAY 8 - Monday 27th January 2003
Woke up to yet another freezing cold day. Slight sleep-in before an hour stretching session that resulted in most of the team booking in for a physio appointment.
Fortunately England played India today on Bert Sutcliffe Oval. Not fortunate for England or India, but fortunate for us as our rooms back on to the oval and we could watch the entertainment from the warmth of our beds. Little did we know that the main entertainment was England's warm-up. From the warm-up we are concerned that the ECB have sent out a contemporary dance company. It involves a series of moves from the swan dying in Swan Lake to the impersonation of Andy Caddick (hands behind ears) flicking dog poo off his shoes to a reinactment of the Portrait of the Potato Eaters. It has to be seen to be believed.
Very classy spectator out at the cricket today. Glad to know she wasn't out supporting our game yesterday especially when she turns up in her car with a licence plate IVA MUF. True Story.
The physio room overlooks Bert Sutcliffe Oval which is very handy if a game is on as you can be treated and watch the game at the same time. Today Mel was being treated on her neck and shoulders while lying on her stomach without her top on. Betty Ross got her to lean up as she treated her shoulders. Only after about 3 minutes did Mel realise that possibly people could see in. Betty Ross assured Mel that it would have been impossible and that we'll do a test run tomorrow to put Mel's mind at ease.
Off for a team dinner at the Wineshed tonight. Very, very funny night with everyone relaxing and reminiscing about old tours and basically just old memories from childhood. One of the more amusing stories was Belinda Clark having to learn Greek in Grade 4. No Greek equivalent for Belinda so she became Barbara. Greek for Barbara is Varda Varda which obviously in Grade 4 terminology becomes Farter Farter. Scarred from a young age poor thing. Later in the evening after a bit too much happy juice for one member of our party, Bails decides to let fluffy off the chain while up paying the bill. Bails now has the new nickname "Barbara".
Our trip home was an interesting one with the first bus leaving about 5 minutes earlier than us as they were all tired and keen to get to bed. As we were about to turn out of the driveway to the vineyard the other bus goes flying past us from the other direction. Not sure how far they had gotten before they realised they were going the wrong way. We then decided to race them home. This did involve some tricky manoeuvres considering the number of speed bumps on the way home but we were ridden home beautifully by Sally Bailey who mistakenly thought that she was on a horse and that she was a jockey.
Home about 10.30 and with a few of us not feeling too tired we decide to watch Bend it like Beckham. Bridget has decided she'll take up the offer of the spare room and stays to watch the movie with us. Very excited about her new room she starts planning what things she can put in the room for the next few weeks. Doesn't take much to get these kiwis excited now does it? Mel Jones did her best to get through the movie without falling asleep. Before she did drift off she came out with a beauty when we were discussing just how bad Sandra Bulloch is as an actor. "I thought she was really good in Erin Brokovich". Go back to sleep Mel.DAY 9 - Tuesday 28th January 2003
Well it's official. Mel has exposed herself to everyone at Bert Sutcliffe Oval. A clothed Julie Hayes was spotted from the ground in the physio room being treated and I'll give you the tip - we could even tell what time it was on her watch.
Another day off today. A beautiful day here, for a change, so everyone took advantage of it by spending most of it soaking up the rays and watching New Zealand play India before heading off to training at 3 o'clock. Training saw the team divided into two groups, one in the nets, while the other group did video analysis of the English players from footage we had taken. Steve assisted in the mental development of our game, while Mark (Sorell, our Assistant Coach) ensured we were at full confidence by bowling to us and returning figures off approximately 18 overs of 0/643.
Belinda's poor throwing form has continued. After missing several attempts in the field on Sunday, Belinda thought she'd get a bit of practice in the nets. Unfortunately for Belinda (and possibly Mel Bulow), she missed absolutely every throw she attempted. Tip to the Debutant: Not the best way of getting selected.
Steve finished off the session with a group discussion and strategy meeting. Whilst discussing certain players he seemed to be stuck on one of the players and the number of balls she had faced. The fact that we kept replying that she'd gotten a golden duck didn't seem to answer his question.
We seemed to have been deceived over the years regarding child labour in third world countries. According to Michelle Goszko it is rampant in Australia as well, at least in the Goszko family. Michelle apparently was made to miss pre-school and sent off packing to work at the age of three to answer phones in a community centre. This would explain her preoccupation with her mobile phone however.
Typing this diary whilst listening to the 12th man with Melanie Jones, as she hasn't heard it before. And she still hasn't heard it as she's been asleep since about the first 15 minutes.DAY10 - Wednesday 29th January 2003 - Australia vs England
After today's game today we are 2 from 2. We didn't know how easy it would be to achieve our goal but have managed to have both of our invitations to an after-game bbq declined. We have also won 2 from 2 as well which I suppose was our other goal.
A couple of notable things during the game were : Claire Taylor warming up by boxing to Eye of the Tiger before coming in to bat at number three for England, Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert van arriving to the delight of the huge crowd that was in attendance and Belinda notably missing from mid-on to be found hiding at short fine to avoid any run-out opportunities.
Our rooms here at Lincoln are very simple. You have a key you unlock your door you go in. You can lock in from the inside or outside, but generally it is impossible to lock it from the outside whilst still inside unless your name is Michelle Goszko. Gozzy cries for help could be heard downstairs as somehow (and we are still unsure how she managed it) she managed to lock herself in.
On the way to our recovery swim today we were all going through the scorebooks to see how we fared, they fared etc when it was noted that one of their players had scored 11 of 64 balls. Belinda was talking about the number of balls when Fitz yells out "or 6.4 overs". A silence drops over the bus as everyone realises that Fitz has made a slight miscalculation. Problem quickly resolved as argument turned back onto bus and how we can't add up and it's our fault. Sorry. Won't bring it up again. Sorry.
After team bbq Steve, Mark, Claire, Mel Jones and I all headed down to the local Irish pub for a couple of quiet ones and a few games of pool. Evening turned out quite an amusing one with Mel and I both in a pool competition with the locals and the group of us all at some stage playing against the white version of Once Were Warriors. Predicted result in pool competition with Mel and I both losing our Round 1 game (Mel to Professor Julius Sumner Miller and me to some young up-start) and then losing our losing final (Mel to owner's son who threatened to tell his mother if we didn't let him win and me to Professor Julius Sumner Miller's best friend (who ended up being father of dobber) in cardigan and long beige walking socks). Positive to the evening was Mark and I beating (and surviving) current table champions Once Were Warriors.. To top off the evening, it was "Bring your own Instrument" evening. We knew it was time to leave when small Asian man comes out and starts singing French Jazz.
DAY 11 - Thursday 30th January 2003
Early morning run before heading to breakfast and then for a team stretch. We are joined this morning by Mark and Steve. Mark (who is no stranger to exercise) coped very well with all the different stretches where Steve (who can't even spell exercise) struggled on any exercise that involved bending, balance or squatting. Good start though. Mark is a good influence on Steve.
As we are finding it harder and harder to entertain ourselves out here at Lincoln, a group of us decide to head into Christchurch to try and kill some time. Some shop, some eat and some get their hair cut. Not just your ordinary haircut. Emma and I have gone for the "Don't mess with me" blonded power cut, where Gozzy has gone crazy for Gozzy and gone with a lovely coppery sort of colour thing through her hair. Probably a technical word for what happened but unfortunately haircare (and any other beauty term) is not really my strong point.
New Zealand and England had a tight game today with New Zealand only needing 140. To England's credit they kept the pressure up and New Zealand manage to scrape in with a bonus point but with seven wickets down. Also confirmed today that Rolly managed to chip a bone in Aimee Mason's finger the other day when defending a four back down the ground. It was also Clare Taylor's 100th game today for England. Might not sound like a lot of games but in Women's Cricket when we average around 8 games a year, (and probably even less when she started playing in 1953) I'll let you do the math.
Appropriately John Harmer (ex-Aussie now English Coach) turns up to dinner wearing a TelstraClear White Ferns training shirt. Very subtle John.
Haven't seen the karate dude at pool lately but we knew it wouldn't take long before someone else put their hand up. Hard to explain this one except that he's not shy (asks me not to leave when I'm in the spa), has exceptionally long legs (manages to still be able to touch my leg with his feet despite me being balled up in a corner in the spa), and can hold a tune (wolf whistles at us as we are getting out of the spa). Fortunate enough to spot him again today but manage to co-ordinate our spa time with him being in the steam room. On explaining this to several members of the team who were ignorant to his exploits, naturally they want to see him. Mel (spy-like) sticks her head out of the door and yells back to everyone else that he's not in the spa. No Mel he's not. He is sitting at your feet looking at us all.
Trip home from pool stop in at Video Store and go crazy. Couple of new releases and 5 classic weeklys. Revenge of the Nerds, Fletch, Life of Brian, Flying High and for the rest of the team that is under 21, Austin Powers.
Bridget turns up for a sleep-over and is very disappointed to find us all heading to bed. Couple of scenes from Fletch which Mel and I lose it to while Bridget laughs politely along with us and then off to bed.
DAY 12 - Friday 31st January 2003
Big day today with the official launch of the Women's World Series. Was due to be held last Thursday but unfortunately the Indian team had been separated in their travels and half the team arrived on Wednesday and the other half on Thursday. Last year we did a Putt-Putt thing this year it was tube racing with paddles down the Avon River. I'm using the term river very loosely there as it's approximately 5m wide and 50cm deep. There was also concern over the cleanliness of the river from the Indians. And you take notice when the Indians start questioning it.
The Race involves 5 legs of approximately 500m each. Each team selects 4 members to participate with one person doing an extra leg. Our team consisted of Kris Britt, Alex Blackwell, Michelle Goszko and Emma Twining. Mel Bulow was a late withdrawal (replaced by Gozzy) as she was a bit worried she may drown. All of the teams were laden with supplied water cannons except for England who decided to bring along eggs, water balloons and fill anything that squirted with coffee, cordial or anything else that might stink or stain. Luckily it wasn't a team that could throw accurately.
Race didn't start well with the competitors all arriving in a van dressed in their wetsuits (Indians had never seen wetsuits before) and being pelted with stuff before they were even in the water. It was noted that India's wetsuits were slightly looser than everyone else's. The fact also that the Indians couldn't even stay in their tube was a slight set-back but it was decided to start the race anyway. Rules were that there were no rules. Bad mistake. Whoever was doing the marketing for this had severely underestimated Women Cricketers.About 20m into the race things started deteriorating with competitors stopping other competitors by dumping them out of their tubes, stealing their paddles and basically just cheating. This naturally led to team mates jumping in fully clothed to try and get other counties team mates off their tube. Players from Australian team with questionable motives were myself, Lisa S and Karen Rolton. Rolts up until about 3 minutes before the race had refused to participate in any activities including shooting people with the water pistol or even as simple as carrying the flag. That is until you were allowed to fight. Kakka Rolton was first in there with the big belly flop on the Frances King from New Zealand which led to our tube moving into first place.
I managed to get in there and fight with an unknown pom over the English's paddle for a couple of minutes. On releasing it managed to pop my opponents head under the water just in case she had lost anything under there in the struggle. Rolly and I held up the Poms sufficiently to let all the teams pass except for India who no one had seen since the beginning of the race. Further down the track one of the English girls had jumped on to the kiwis tube to slow them up when the kiwi manager yells out "Hey I thought we had a deal". Appears the dirty filthy stinking poms and kiwis had teamed up. Didn't let this get in our way and just did what we know best - tackle the hell out of them. Kris Britt, reminiscent of George Gregan tackling Jeff Wilson in the corner - Wallabies vs All Blacks, has absolutely driven Clare Taylor of England. Not a coincidence both George and Britty are from Canberra. Alex, not to be outdone, has then tackled Laura Newton from England as well just for the hell of it.
Approaching the finish line things got uglier with pinching, hair pulling, and wedgies and that was just the spectators. On arriving at the finish line we meet up with the Indians who have found that running alongside the river was much easier (and safer) than paddling it. They were trying to claim a victory as were all the countries, but it was awarded to England in the end claiming that they were actually leading before the cheating started. The Pommy girls were extremely happy with themselves as it was the first time they'd beaten Australia or New Zealand at anything in the past ten years. Christchurch was filled with all of those hilarious Balmy Army chants and the incessant singing from the Indians who still thought they'd won.
Afternoon off to do anything we wanted before a strategy meeting as we are playing India tomorrow. Also noted at meeting that Karen Rolton has now passed 2000 runs in ODI's and 50 wickets. Well done Rockin'. Good distraction from the fact that she has answered about 5 of the 24 quiz questions to date.
Tried to be the smart arse tonight by opening the door to dinner with the wheelchair button only to have the door open towards me and smack me in the face.
One of the video players we have hired has decided to eat Fletch and Life of Brian much to the disappointment of Alex Blackwell who is actually interested in finding out what the hell Mel and I talk about all the time.
DAY 13 - Saturday 1st February 2003 - Australia vs India
A good win today with India getting off to a solid start and making us work pretty hard in the second session to try and get things back on track. Fitz also picked up her 100th wicket, the first woman to ever achieve this. Super work Fitz.
One of the benefits of playing India is that apparently it is compulsory for them to have ice-cream with lunch. And not just your one scoop. We are talking 3 or 4.
During the game Rolly decided that she was feeling a bit sore and would pop off for a bit of a rub while we did all the hard work on field. After the rubdown, it was evidently too much effort for Rolly to walk back onto the field, so waited for the drinks break and got a lift on the drinks cart.
To amuse the middle to lower order batsmen, we decided to go through old tv show theme songs. This kept us amused for about an hour until we got stuck on the theme from "Who's the Boss" and "Diff'rent Strokes". Emma "TV1" Twining couldn't even get them. After reeling of the entire Growing Pains cast "Mike, Carol and Ben Seever" we were sorely disappointed in Em's form. It was then discovered that one of the groundsmen (who had already supplied us with the 12th man cd) had a tv theme song cd and would be bringing it tomorrow for us.
During Rolts' innings the Indian bowler informed the umpire that she would be bowling right arm over and then left arm over. Umpire had no idea what she was talking about so repeated it to Rolly who fortunately realised the girl actually meant right arm over then right arm around.
Alex Blackwell made some good runs today and also got her first wicket for Australia today with a spell of 6 over 2/8.
Mark Sorell hasn't really copped enough in the diary to date so I have been informed to tell our readers (who a large majority would be female and will understand) that after promising not to leave the toilet seat up again, was sprung less than 24 hours exiting the toilet with the seat up!!!
In yesterday's team meeting, along with the team quiz, we are also given a Who Am I. We have to guess which one of our teammates Claire is describing from information given back in September last year. When "I look like Nicole Kidman" came up we were all a bit dumbstruck as we have a couple of Elle McPherson's and Claudia Schiffers but Aussie Nic. Rolly's snort from the back of the room was a bit of a giveaway as to who had written the profile. We are still not sure however if she was serious or not.
Kite flying lesson for Mel Bulow and Britty from kite flying expert Lisa Sthalekar. Lisa Ross has booked in also for a lesson. It seems we had quite a few people with sheltered childhoods.
DAY 14 - Sunday 2nd February 2003 Australia vs England
"There's a time for love and time for liv'in so take the chance and face the wind" Opening lines of Who's The Boss We can all sleep tonight. No. 39 on the cd No.1 (yes there are two cds). Diff'rent Strokes however wasn't there and we have to content ourselves with the end of the song "it takes Diff'rent Strokes to rule the world". With entertainment like this I'd hate to be a top order batsman and miss out on all the fun. Call of the day when trying to pick the different songs was Emma with her call of the Perfect Strangers theme as well as the more tricky instrumental Magnum P.I.
Rolly had a bad day today and she only had herself to blame. With back to back games it is essential to wash as soon as you get home in order for your kit to be dry for the next day. Well Rolly had forgotten to wash her lucky bra and was refusing to wear it two days in a row. Rolly scored 4, got no catches, got no run outs and got one wicket which was disputed but allowed in the end.
Over the years we have taken the mickey out of our girls for having to leave the field at every drinks break for a wee break. Today however it was the umpire who was having a shocker. We'd all finished our drinks and had to wait an extra five minutes before he returned to the field.
Britty also got a 4 for for the game. On the last wicket, which also happened to be the last ball of the game, Lucy Pearson has skied a ball straight up from her sweep shot. Britty has taken about two steps to catch the ball and then stopped as she mistook Lucy Pearson for me. Before I go any further I will just give you a quick rundown on what Lucy looks like. She's 6"4, has short dark hair, was last seen wearing a blue English Cricket Uniform and had a bat in her hand. No wonder Britty thought it was me. Fortunately Britty realised at the last minute and took a cracker of a diving catch for her 4 for.
Couple of quiet beers at the local with the team and Mark (the barman) and home for a quiet night. Two days in a row really can take it out of you especially on these hard grounds. Before going to bed we decided to leave Al with a bit of a tester and started to call her cohol. Nearly an hour later Al was still hounding people as to why we would call her cohol.DAY 15 - Monday 3rd February 2003
After back to back games is was nice to be able sit around and do nothing. As it was another nice day most of the girls stepped out the back door to watch New Zealand play England. Day started with the DJ discovering the TV Theme song cd and having an absolute ball with it to the delight of everyone in attendance at the ground. That is except for Emily Drumm. Not sure if she had had a bad experience with dolphins in her childhood but Emily gave the dj a bit of lip when the flipper theme song went into the second verse. Maybe she just didn't know the words. New Zealand went on to win the game but were unable to achieve the bonus point therefore giving England their first point of the tournament.
It was noted during the game that Clare Connor takes a long time setting fields when there is a bowling change. After several timings and then averaging them out, we came up with a list of things you could do while waiting for Clare to set her field.
- Walk to the coke machine, buy a drink and return sure in the knowledge that you wouldn't have missed a ball.
- Count nearly 1000 blades of grass
- Walk to accommodation, make two pieces of toast with margarine and vegemite and then return to the game.
- Be able to flick through the latest New Weekly, and count how many times they mention either Jennifer Lopez/Ben Affleck or Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt. (actually I lied here. Clare doesn't take that long)
Clea had a close encounter with a hedgehog tonight. After seeing it trying to cross the path, she runs up to it, stares at it from about 3 inches away and then comes running back. "poor little thing is scared to death" Don't know why Clea.
Quiet night with massages and videos.
DAY 16 - Tuesday 4th February 2003 Australia vs India
A very gloomy and cold day which saw the start of our game delayed until 1.45pm. This left approximately 4 and a half hours to entertain ourselves. Belinda Lou Retton started the day off with a special rhythmic gymnastics routine involving the F.I.T. Ball. We then moved onto Lawn Bowls with a couple of tapped tennis balls. Surprisingly this kept us amused for nearly an hour as Cathryn "Crackerjack" Fitzpatrick showed us that her underarm bowling can be just as aggressive as her overarm. After a failed attempt at making a giant slingshot out of Betty Ross' robands, we split into smaller groups of pictionary and cards. A final attempt to fill in time was setting up the DVD of About a Boy and watching the previews and first 10 minutes 6 times as we couldn't work out how the DVD worked.
Boredom continued during the game for those sitting off who decided to decorate our waterbottles with various pictures or quotes from New Weekly. Surprisingly no J Lo or Brad Pitt but there was the recognisable figure of Nicole Kidman on Rolly's water bottle.
Unlike their plane trips over, the Indians didn't miss any of the flight that Kris Britt or Lisa S were throwing up at them. Day went slowly with the Indians getting off to a slow but solid start and finishing the day with 135 off their 50. We chased down the total in 20 odd overs for the loss of one wicket.
A regular feature on the way to our recovery session at the pool has been try and guess the song on the radio (as most of them seem to be pre 1990). Man eater has come on and Belinda, proud as punch has yelled out "Wild and Oates".
Hungi tonight with the Indian team. The only team to accept one of our social invitations to date and ironically on the same night that England had invited us to dinner with them. We had a super night with the Indian girls as we (the Indians and Emma and Lisa) danced the night away to The Ketchup Song, I'm Alive by Celine Dion and some Indian Pop. In the excitement of it all Lisa Ross, thinking that we were playing the Greek Women's Cricket Team starts smashing glasses and throwing red wine all over herself.
The Indians also seem to have a problem with Bridget's name and have taken to calling her Budget.
DAY 17 - Wednesday 5th February 2003
A very quiet day with a 9 o'clock swim and then back for optional training at 11. The presence of Emma Twining at training today was a bit of a shock to us daily trainers. Welcome Emma and we look forward to training with you more often.
Bails' husband Henry has been good enough to forward through to us the words of Diff'rent Strokes. The hunt had been on to find out the words but the only information we could find out on the internet was that Todd Bridges (Willis) was recently in a celebrity boxing match vs Vanilla Ice (not sure of the outcome) and that Gary Coleman (Arnold) seems to be president of the "Leave Gary Coleman Alone" Campaign.
It has been noted on this trip that the English Women's Team is now called the Blue Lions. We are trying to get this changed to the Blue Tongues due to the English girls obsession of basking until become red which they then tell everyone is a tan.
Have a small game of backyard cricket with the local University blokes. All the usual rules: 6 and out; one hand, one bounce; purple cords (oops sorry no that wasn't a rule it was a choice).
Videos for the rest of the day and most of the evening. A screening of the rest of About A Boy was held for those who cared. The rest of us just kept praying for darkness, which doesn't normally happen until about 9.30pm, so that we could finally go to bed.
Day 18 - Thursday 6th February 2003 Australia vs New Zealand
Waitungi day in New Zealand. Waitungi Day is so called because the treaty between the Maoris and European New Zealanders was signed back in 1896 (or something like that) in a place called Waitungi. In a place called Lincoln, however, Australia were doing there best to ensure the Waitungi Day celebrations wouldn't get too out of hand.
Despite trying to give New Zealand as many extras as we could (Karen Rolton full toss that lands just outside the inner circle on the full) we manage to contain New Zealand to 176. In her excitement to restrict the final total Melanie Jones falls over in cover trying to dive for a ball going through gully. God we are a committed team. A record opening partnership between Lisa Sthalekar and Belinda Clark of 125 then ensued being the highest ever from an Australian team versus New Zealand. We also won the Rosebowl Series. Now for the Women's World Series.
On one of Bridget errands around the ground in our training outfit, she got to feel what it was really like to be an international cricketer especially an Australian cricketer in New Zealand. After being verbally abused by a supporter (Australia suck, Australia suck among other comments), this made her really envious of the sort of esteem we are held in over here.
On the other field an exciting game was unfolding with India needing 11 runs from 21 balls with 6 wickets in hand. Actually no sorry 5 wickets, no 4 wickets etc etc. Came down to India needing 2 from 1 with 1 wicket in hand. Actually no sorry game over. Well played England.
Claire, Clea and Gozzy all off to the Casino where Gozzy wins $250 which goes immediately to paying off her mobile phone bill.
Day 19 - Friday 7th February 2003
A lovely quiet day had by the Australian team. Team stretch in the morning followed by a non-compulsory training session and then to spend the rest of the day watching England beat India in the battle of 3 vs 4. Was noted by our ever-aware captain that England seemed to have a new bowler in their team - CETAYL as it came up on the scoreboard. After several attempts at trying to say this bowlers name it suddenly dawned on Belinda that is was C.E. Taylor. Small confession to be made at this time. I was also actually trying to work out who this new bowler was but fortunately didn't verbalise it.
Strategy meeting in afternoon followed by team meeting. It was at this meeting that we realised Claire Connelly has a speech impediment. The word antibiotic, even on the fourth attempt, seems to be beyond her.
To escape the monotony of the food here at Lincoln, we all head into Christchurch for a bit of Italian and our last team dinner before the final tomorrow.
Day 20 - Saturday 8th February 2003 - Australia vs New Zealand
A super day with Australia racing away with the victory. After our first innings, there were a few nervous players out on the field, but thanks to a brilliant opening spell by Fitz and Em we had New Zealand in all sorts of trouble early. Our bowlers bowled a good tight line to the kiwis making it hard to get away without taking too many risks and our fielders backing up our bowlers beautifully. Alex seems to have earned more nicknames on this tour than anyone I have ever met before but her final nickname of Simba (after Cindy who has a bigger head than Barbie, and Forrest due to her forgetting how to run) seems to be the most suitable due to her fielding technique where she seems to pounce on the ball like a lion getting dinner. Very effective. Belinda also manages to get past the 4000 run mark and then overtake Debbie Hockley of new Zealand with the most runs ever scored by a woman in One-day internationals.
During our batting innings, I managed to be cut down by an 8 year old girl. As she was walking past with her very young looking border collie and call out to her if she could bring the puppy over. She brings it over to correct me that it's not a puppy, it's a dog!
It must also be noted in the diary that Fitzy's first name is actually Cathryn and not Veteran as most of the commentators and reporters over here seem to think.
Very informal function for dinner after final and then onto a bus to head into town to the tunes of Growing Pains because we couldn't remember the words to Family Ties or Who's the Boss. Alex Blackwell again wins an award for being the nicest person at the Championships and talking to every person in the entire nightclub.
Day 21 - Sunday 9th February 2003
No recollection of the morning due to me not waking up until 12.20pm. Head to lunch to find myself lost in a sea of women all busily chatting and giggling. Don't hear or see anyone that I know until they physically come up and tap me on the shoulder and then sit down for lunch only to realise that Mel, Alex, Lisa S and myself are in the middle of a Netball Conference. This doesn't deter us as we applaud with vigour all the acknowledgments at the conference and then nearly win the lucky door prize.
Afternoon spent viewing replays of our game and sleeping. Emma Twining makes a brief appearance on her couch only to retreat back to the safety of her bed ten minutes later. Not spotted again today.
Test team named today to take on England next week at the Gabba. Unfortunately this means that at least one of our players was going to miss out due to the fact that only 12 are being taken. Not that us knowing made it any easier. Mel Bulow and Clea Smith are both heading home and Therese McGregor will be joining us in Brisbane tomorrow evening.
Quiet night at home or at the movies.
See Julia's Test Diary to continue the 2003 Tour...
